Even after 300, I still question myself the same things.

One great thing about taking my time off to become a monk is that, for fifteen days straight, I really do not have to worry about my life as I throw away almost everything about how one should live in the system. This path of choice allows me to be quite wide-visioned in spotting life problems from those around me.

Not everything is worth my grief as I am also able to spot moments of fulfillment and happiness. I would much love to rephrase it into a “milestone” — everybody has a few of those, all of which are unique to them.

 


 

Firstly, let us pretend that the first half of the other 300 followers madness post never happened. While the other half was sincere, I’d figured that three is my favorite number and if I’d outdone my 100 followers post with the 200, then I ought to outdo that one with this. I see it as a way to improve — beating yourself is probably the greatest way to start your journey onto beating others. For when you become the pinnacle, you will only have yourself to beat from there on.

The catch is, none of it will feel like being back to square one since there is a clear difference between the first and the most recent time you have done it.

Now, I will once again, humbly thank all of you who had really kept me on my toes for every time my posts went out to the public. Some of you might have not appeared on my blog all the time; some might have been very new.

I still thank you all the same.

And then, whether you have yet to reach the 300 mark or have gone past it; uncertainty lurks behind our backs and never leaves no matter how badly you want it to go away. Give all creators the benefit of doubt — at least for me this time.

I am almost certain that the existence of my blog and myself can be quite representative of bloggers who run their blogs solo. With that in mind, I will gladly respond to the fiery hot question for bloggers which we hardly hesitate to answer but would always preferred not to.

 

“Have you ever thought about quitting the blog (and perhaps blogging altogether)?”

 

Four out of five closest bloggers to me have said yes. Add myself into the pool makes five out of six. Go through their (and my) fully elaborated answers and you will catch a surprising amount of similarities — what they thought of when they felt like quitting. Do bear in mind that great blogs are indeed run by human with myriad emotions. This means life-changing events can, but not neccessarily will, also change the blog for better or worse.

 


 

Just when you think about your life’s journey coming to hit a wall, it never hurt to think about possibilities of taking either turns. Life is full of surprises; here will be experiences you have yet to hold onto. This naturally means you will want to talk about them shall they make you feel the excitement shivers.
Without any meaningful support from family and friends, leaving them here on the internet is by all means better than talking to a wall.

Now, from my very own experience, people who has truly found a new path in life, be it hobby or career, will not hesitate in the slightest to take a turn and move on. What they will not do also, is leaving any kind of depressing parting message behind (especially on the internet). Real heroes don’t need to say anything, for when they are truly gone, people will call out to them. You can test that out for yourself!

Have the world know that there is more to life than just blogging. You cannot fit your entire life’s story into a blog alone even if you try your damndest, so do your best while it remains interesting. Given that you have left a decent impression on your viewers, it becomes very natural that they want to know what you can be up to whenever in front of you is not a blogging device. So when you say that you have found a new thing to pursue and that it would be at a sacrifice of your blog, your followers may not follow you there but they will most definitely wonder.

Curiosity moves people. It makes people do something to fill the void caused by experiencing uncertainty. It is a powerful source of motivation for most and introverts are no exceptions.

Give your followers a hint of things worth pursuing in life; have them become curious — motivated. Why do you think motivation speeches work?

Because the people who say it are probably successful themselves; it is simply the power of credibility.

You, the content creator, may have at least once felt somewhat insignificant; that’s surely how many who have left felt at the time they’d decided to vanish. They probably knew that by moving on they would at some point find their significance and more importantly a place to belong. Hopefully this will be the case for you as well when the decision to depart has taken its time and has been fully thought out to all corners of dis/pleasure, which really comes down to the things you love to do versus the things you have to do.

Now, if you are still reading this post and really did get up to this point then you probably wanted to know my thoughts regarding whatever is on other side of the grass. I can honestly tell you that it ain’t always green.

Not everyone who’d left the blogging hobby behind would feel like it was a mistake. In fact, a lot of them would have now thought it was one of those experience they could never get back. They cannot relive it — the whole thing feels too similar to having played video games a decade prior so the one thing everyone of these ex-bloggers will encounter upon looking back is nostalgia.

If you find yourself to be like these guys — I wish you the best of luck on your new journey and I will always welcome you back.

 


 

Now, what if it all went the other way? What if blogging was indeed a mistake, as claimed by you, who is probably on a verge of closing down your blog and leaving the community altogether?

Boy. Let me tell you that dealing with problematic people is my number one voluntary job of my life and while it hurts my head because each individual case is a completely different kind of pain in the ass; what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. Partially solving each individual’s problem would accumulate into a bigger experience cloud which I know will improve the quality of my life. They say sometimes the best defence is offense so getting actively involved with these things feel almost like a preparation for the real thing. Also, human psychology is mostly set in stone; we either do this/that or do not — the fun part has to always be why.

So, you plan on shutting down the blog. Why?

And so, you plan on… what else exactly?

I am going to have you see a very simple equation, in which groundbreaking logic is embedded into it.

1 + 1 = 2

No. I am not Big Shaq with quick maths. And no. I am not being a smartass either! This is not a riddle for you to solve, but rather a thought provoking idea behind legitimacy of one’s reasons.

So why is it that there has to be two 1’s together to make up the number two?

Why does it have to be number one at all?

If it was not for the teaching of simple logic called mathematics, you might as well use any other number instead of one and still, nobody would question the legitimacy of the equation.

Scratch the numbers for now and let me share my one deep thought after having seen so many people “quit”; not just blogging but giving up things in general. From the moment you decide to leave me, I care about you as much as you do to your reasoning. Let us look at the equation again:

Reason + Reason = Quitting

Am I really being a smartass this time? You might have asked.

Again, no.

And why with two reasons?

Never ever in my life have I known a person on Earth who quits something for a single valid reason. Deep down one hides their sentiments well, it will actually bother them to reveal too early. What do they call that again?

Ah. Those pent-up feelings.

Unlike maths however, the equation above is somewhat special. Your reasons do not have to actually be wholesome but they still have to be legitimate, i.e. no excuses. There are even reasons to reasons themselves which becomes the foundation of detective works you see happening today. There are three sides to the story; yours, theirs and the one truth.

As much as you will hate to admit; the legitimacy of your followers’ condolences are almost always equal to that of your reasons for quitting.

There are already a good amount of blog posts from other bloggers in the sphere which have listed most common excuses bloggers use to not be active. If you want to read them so bad then ask in the comments — I’ll be more than glad to search them for you.

Let you use one of those for example…

Say, your first reason to quit blogging is because you have no time — that is probably among the most used sugar-coated reason I have ever seen. My stepdad would tell me that, “Each day is 24 hours. If that is not enough then use the night.”

Okay, that may be too hardcore since blogging is apparently your hobby. But let this idea sink in: we all really have 24 hours a day, equal. For whatever “reason” you are self forced to spend a few hours of your supposed free time of the week to do anything else but blog, is the one truth. That makes one legitimate reason already. Nobody is really going to ask you anything else since this is the internet — until the beans are spilled you remain anonymous. But I will ask you something you would have sure asked yourself inside your own head: just how important is this “activity”, to the point that I have to spare my hobby time?

For an example, that activity being to study; you would have to grind the books or else you would end up not graduating and ultimately not landing a well paid job. From this you have two reasons that truly make up your decision to quit: one being that you need to study in order to pass subjects/papers and the other one being that you want a good paying job so you will not have to financially suffer in the future. The two are tightly correlated but exist as two completely different reasons since you can fail your studies but miraculously end up landing a good job. Likewise you can also have all A+ but end up jobless (R.I.P. my friends). Both studies and job hunting require massive time investment — nobody who ain’t stupid would not tell you this.

Ultimately, blogging is one of the most “free” forms of content creation. Your blog means your rules, but common sense kicks in when you cannot set them straight. Nobody is forcing you to publish a post every week so why the excuse, right?

I know… I know. It all leads to “money”. But that is for later, down the post.

The excuses I want to write about in this post goes further beyond simple reasoning and almost always have hidden truths behind them; all the more of why the very thing is called excuse!

 

Everything in the name of “shit”

My content is shit. My follower count is dropping like shit as a result. My whole blog is probably shit, too.

No sonny. The only shitty thing here is your attitude towards everything, your self included. And do not even think that calling yourself a horrible, talentless person after all of that would in any way make a scapegoat for misdirected anger. Get a load of this yo:

Somewhere out there, someone is always doing something better than you. Same goes for me too, actually. But why do I care to let it stop me from doing what I “love”?

There it is — the truth behind complaints about being subpar. From the moment you start calling your content ‘shit’, you no longer are making them because you love to. You have ulterior motives which would not take a few seconds for others to say after they read your complaints. The feeling of competitiveness strokes my ego better than I do myself, to be honest. And why is it that we compare ourselves to others as a mean to measure our successes, again?

Everybody has different preference to success. If say, follower count defines your success then you should really consider blogging a job because it works exactly the same way as anything else which involves customers:

– Your content will actually have to make people, or in this case your potential customers, react. It has to be good and in order to do just that…

– You yourself have to be “good”.

The things you create are only as good as you are.

The thing about blogging, especially here in the anime blogging community, is that it is tightly fixed. Everything you do from day one would build you up to potentially be an upstanding member of the community. Look, I am spamming the word community a lot here so take a hint already.

You are never alone. It is entirely your choice to be alone. Even if that is not the choice you have made, your actions speak louder than words so every little interactions will help a long way. There is one thing however, not allowed to be carried with you at most times and that is your ego. We bloggers are human too, and not stupid. We want to converse with people who either share our ideas/ideals or expressively show the contrast to our views. Respect is second nature to us so it is not something that even I have to type in this post (but I did it. Hooray). What I, and hopefully most of you who managed to read this far, do not want to waste our time with is having to put up with individuals who pretend to be kings/queens, thinking that our 50+ word comments on their blog is only worth nothing more than max of 5 characters response like “lol” or the biggest criminal in my personal dictionary of degenerates, “K.”

You really think by doing that, people would want to talk to you more?

It would be a time you realize the need to adapt instead of eventually calling yourself horrible for the actual horrible things you might have unintentionally done to others beforehand.

This would be another instance of those things you hate to admit but natural selection happens on the internet, too! If you are socially unfit for what I think is probably among the best communities I have ever encountered on the internet, then seek a psychiatrist then come back to blogging yo.

 

Personal loss

My dog died so I will stop blogging — starting next week.

I actually laughed at what I’ve written… my goodness. Let me clarify this for you: it is completely okay to not be okay for a while. Your loss however is never a reason for you to lose more than you already have! If any kind of it is knowingly caused by depression then again, please seek a psychiatrist and then think about blogs.

Coincidentally Boobgie the YouTuber has came out about his divorce so I snatched his tweet and…

He may have lost a partner but that is not a reason to keep on living and continue doing what he loves — making videos.

You, a blogger, should not be any different unless again, you are totally obsessed over the whole money-making thing.

 

The lack of family support

This is very much different to the typical “my parents do not like (to see) me blogging”. I will give you a news flash: Of the hundred blogs I follow, almost all of them have authors who admit that their parents either do not like the idea of blogging or they just don’t know about it. My parents, especially my mom, in fact sees blogging as something no different to playing video games. In her own words they would be, “a waste of time.”

This is when you straight up need to sort out priorities in your life. No. You are by all means not required to make up with your family if your relationship with them is anything more than severe. Instead make things clear as day; assure your family and more importantly yourself that from this point on, your hobbies shall no longer be affected by their existence. Until then, do not show up with a blog only to have familial strains as a mere excuse to disappear.

I mean, if you knew that to blog would ultimately led to your family almost disowning you then you should not have started one before truly becoming independent. Funnily this springs back to the time when I talked about having to study and landing a good job so none of this would have happened. See the importance of priorities?

Well, if you still insist that blogging would be the way to go despite all the troubles you have in tow — be in for a brutally honest moment.

Right so, let me straight up pull out an uncomfortable question for all aspiring content creators — no matter the platform:

 

Do you really see your content making money for you?

 

Reading between many lines, this question would reveal a few hidden intentions shared among a great portion of hobbyists.

Turning a hobby into a job; casualty into mad dedication — we have always been told by any wise and successful content creator to “do what you love even if you do not initially get paid for it.”

Those people are not wrong at all, but the part which almost no aspiring content creators are willing to stick their eyes and brains into is the timeline for each and every one of those people they look up to.

Just like this 300 followers (much less of a) celebration post, say YouTubers with at least 5 million subs would surely have milestone videos marking from probably ten thousands, which eventually scaled up to millions as the followers count became overwhelming.

But the bigger the number, the more impact your mistakes will have on you and your brand (seriously, who wouldn’t have their own brand after a few million followers?). Uncertainty still lurks around me and most definitely around everyone else too. From a business standpoint, 300 is still deep in the “starter push excuse” territory. This is still going to be painful to read but bear with me here.

Out of the three hundred, how many would actually, constantly interact with your content? Let alone taking a glimpse at it. The reality of it actually further adds to the point which I have just made: another mere excuse.

For what?

To keep going.

If you have been snooping around my blog for long then you really know as much as I do. Being the blog owner grants no extra magical powers to see useless stats for hobbyists like myself. If not for the money, what bloggers like myself want more than anything is interactions, lots of them!

With posts ranging from 1 to 15 average, it makes my 300 followers an excuse too when in truth, these 30 or so people who would at times drop by to converse are the real reason I keep blogging.

Like me, Aldael has recently celebrated their 100 followers post. And for obvious reasons, unless your name is Irina and you are hella crazy, your post would not contain every one of your followers’ names on top of something along the lines of what Aldael has written:

Thanks again to all of you – for your encouragement, for your likes, for your comments, for your time and for being such a nice community to be part of!

 

TL;DR Be yourself but also be ready to adapt. Your troubles are not others’ troubles; do not make them theirs. Life will take turns for better or worse as you grow up so be clear with your goals and steps in it, for when all becomes truly muddy — it may as well be the last thing we see on your blog.

Until then, see you at a time when the number 300 is no longer an excuse but rather a real reason to keep you going.

You will most likely beat me there. I can totally see it, haha!

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55 thoughts on “Even after 300, I still question myself the same things.

  1. Great post! And a reminder to me that the anime blogging community here on WordPress is one of the most pleasant, supportive communities to be a part of, even when we have differences of opinion. It’s certainly a far cry from the wildlands of social media, where people will yell at you for the slightest provocation — or not even a provocation, in many cases! But I digress.

    Congrats on the follower count, and there’s plenty of good advice for people in this post, whether they’re new to blogging or grizzled veterans. Keep it up, and I hope to keep seeing you in my Reader and notifications for a long time to come!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Pete!
      All in all this is just me writing a huge reminder that it is okay to not post once every two days. But it is not okay to throw the towel just because I cannot do it like most of you lovelies out there! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Congratulations on the follower count and thanks for sharing such a reflective post. It is interesting to think about the reasons people continue or quit their blogs. Ultimately it is an individual decision but really, I think if people love doing what they are doing, they will find reasons to continue rather than looking for reasons to quit.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you senpai!
      You would actually be surprised how much insanity a break up can cause to oneself. It makes one loses their mind for days and throwing tantrum comes in the package, lol! It is just unfortunate when some people would go as far as taking down the things they “used to love” simply because they have experienced it via a recently broken-off relationship.

      Also, it is so true that people actually turn to negatives when they no longer feel the love for something they do; I can totally relate to this on a high level with my previous job! Oh I hated it so much I have like 2 or 3 positive points go say about it while I have like somewhere in the ten’s of negatives. From the moment I’d left that job however was when I’d realized majority of those negative points were really just excuses for me to keep talking (and working) for another day.
      I would too, love to see blog posts featuring reasons to keep going. So this type of post would probably be one of my last to come out.

      Liked by 3 people

  3. Great post! I am so surprised that I hit 300 followers before you. I think the system is broken because your blog is awesome. You were one of my very first followers!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No actually. You very well deserve to surpass me for reasons that may take more than yourself to admit! I’ll gladly point out a few great ones;

      – You definitely cover a wide range of media and not just anime. When was the last time you have seen me write a post about manga?

      – You may have not realized this fully but you are hella active outside of your own blog. That is my loss, really.

      For any new bloggers reading this: Never think that hiding behind your own blog alone would have you a followers stream. Even the most followed content creator does things which allow your input!

      – You get damn straight to the point in conversational manner. This is highly effective when it comes to you posting about seasonal shows. It pays to really not write in a scientific manner like I do, man! We both know how boring those can be to read but apparently there are people who loooove it so why not. I most likely will not change myself to please others but I will adapt into things worth talking about!

      Then again, as I have pointed out in this post; why on Earth would I let that fact stop me from trying for more, right?

      Liked by 1 person

  4. congrats on 300, man.
    and if you do claim to help a lot of people, you should also know that you can’t help them all. I’m just responding to your points, but they feel a bit preachy and empty. hahaha
    I do know what you mean though, and I do love the fact that you care this much. I hope whoever reads this can get that through their thick skull.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is not me helping people. This post isn’t of me helping people haha.

      Check on discord for a real case of helping.

      This time is just me telling suicidal people on the bridge to also do a backflip.
      “Seek a psychiatrist” is probably one of the most overused joke to address the internet butthurts. This one is guaranteed haha.
      Ultimately this post is also a followers celebration moment so for those who are still wanting to stay clear of troubles, they shall deserve my encouragement.
      Let’s use Karandi’s saying about looking for a reason to keep going rather than quitting. For you it is probably the clear goal of reaching 1000 anime reviews so there is that — no problemo!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. no no, i understand who you’re directing this, lol. It’s just….From one that works in this kind of field, I just don’t agree. BUT that’s my opinion, and I’m no expert as well.
        and yeah, I guess the mix of the “i’m addressing it to someone in particular” and the “passion for blogging” parts are just mixed in a bit too much, lol. Or maybe it was on purpose. Basically, i’m just confused.
        either way, congrats on 300. do a strip tease for your 600th!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I was betting on the fact that less than half of the readers will actually read the whole thing. Unlike YouTube analytics I can’t see which part has been read or ignored xD

        I’m already sending nudes at 300. Stripping isn’t really doubling the impact!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. oh no, stripping is actually better than nudes. This is a fact!!!! hahahaha
        well, i read the whole thing and it was awful. you suck, shoka.
        but seriously, i guess the whole internet aspect complicates the topic for me. not the blogging part though. haha

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Just what exactly isn’t awful for you?!
        Blogging is as free and easy as content creation can get. Wait until you see a post made up of legit once sentence as if it is Twitter update…

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Whoa, didn’t expect a quote, thanks for that.
    And even more thanks for the post. It certainly is brutally honest and this sort of encouragement is probably the best – not assuming that everything is sunshine and rainbows but stating that essentially all the bloggers are in the same boat. If a person wants to find excuses, he’ll certainly find them but in the end if blogging is a truly loved hobby, time, inspiration and other resources will manage to find a way to be channeled into words.
    And congrats for the milestone!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You know…
      You really do have your way with last few sentences. Maybe come out with an inspirational or encouraging post?!

      Or just be like me and call out people who keep blaming things that they shouldn’t…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks, I didn’t think I could write anything motivational that hasn’t been said before. Well, now it sounds awfully similar to other excuses for not writing anything. I’ll consider that.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Congratulations and thank you for this post. In the end if something brings you joy it is good to keep doing it. With blogs it can always be hard to find the time or be discouraged by lack of views or comments. I’m glad you are still going :).

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Blogging might be a mistake for me… Since this is my third crack at a profile and I deleted my first two sites by means of rage quits. If I was to share my true opinions of things I suppose people would say I need mental help, but meh… I’ve given up tact I suppose. There are no anime in season I want to watch and I ended my crunchyroll subscription because I want to maim the employees there so it’s all good I suppose.

    If this makes no sense I apologize… 98% of what I say makes no sense.

    Like

    1. You can hate someone all you want, though if you actually dare to look into their perspective — your hate can actually be the reason for them to keep going. I know it can be hard but this oldest trick in the book can do wonders:

      If you don’t like something, leave them alone.
      Naturally, if it does not deserve to exist like you foretell then eventually it will come crashing down on their own.

      In practice, because you do not seem to like Crunchyroll so much… I say fuck the police and pirate their exclusives. Though, everything in the name of legal risks falls on you; don’t blame me!
      Now people will actually think that I condone the act of pirating lol

      Like

      1. No, just extremely pissed off and without any hope. Also not willing to try to better myself and just wallowing in my own crap pool.

        Like

  8. Congratulations Shoka-san!
    Perhaps one would say that this logic is a little too harsh and that it’s more than calming.

    I am not that one though.
    It was a brilliant post and despite not knowing whether the 1 + 1 = 2 logic was meant as a joke, I understand that well.

    Congrats again!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You can fool a kid and tell them that 5 + 5 is equal to 2 until they have learned what the number five means and how much value it holds. So yes I was not joking but just making a simple example for “legitimacy”.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. It’s clear that you thought a lot about this. Took a long time to read but it was worth it because I can see where you’re coming from and I agree with you. My favourite part of your post:

    “Somewhere out there, someone is always doing something better than you. Same goes for me too, actually. But why do I care to let it stop me from doing what I “love”?”

    This is something that I’ve always thought about too. I know that there are people better than me at everything I do, and there are people better than those people. But I’m just going to do my own thing because life isn’t a competition and I want to live life for myself. Congrats on the 300 btw!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yooo! Thank you!
      Nothing makes my blogger self feel more satisfied than someone telling me that “I have read it”.
      Just as you speculated, I did not exactly rose to fame from memes or anything alike. Looking at my stats difference between my first 2 months versus my most recent two, I can really say that patience is virtue!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I can’t believe I managed to miss this post! Congrats again on 300~
    A collection of quotable things to celebrate 300 is quite remarkable… I’m sure your feelings and reasoning were able to influence many out there~

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I’m going to give a surprise jump on this post (well not really, since I already liked the post and a few comments here and there)~
    Definitely a must-read wake-up post for those who are struggling and thinking of throwing the towel – whether blogging or something else – and it gave me some existential thoughts about “living life” itself.

    Shoka why aren’t you featured on TED talks yet? Gotta sponsor you a trip to US after your 15-day journey to enlightenment. 😮

    Liked by 1 person

  12. That was an interesting read! I stopped blogging myself several years ago, because of personal reasons. I didn’t feel I could spare the time or energy to write any longer. But it was a decision I regretted for years, as blogging and talking to other people about anime was something that I got a lot of enjoyment out of, even if my blog wasn’t a massive hit! I’m glad to have recently got back into writing, and while my priorities will always be my close friends and family, should any drama arise, I hope I can take your advice and continue doing what I love regardless! Congrats on the 300 followers!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow thank you!
      Life drama is sure not as amusing as how most anime portray, that’s for sure. I have probably forgot that I wrote the post to remind myself that I have no real reason to quit despite being pushed back from daily posting to monthly. 🙂

      And yes, I’m hella happy when I see higher comments than likes on my posts, haha!
      Some of us may initially say that we blog to talk to a wall. But if walls can talk back, that’s more the reason to blog on.

      Like

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