Heya! I welcome you to the twelfth day of my challenge!
Saddest Anime Scene
Feeling sad does not necessarily mean to have me let out my tears. In this relatable moment however, I would tear up every single time as I watch it happen. In fact, my eyes were teary for almost half an hour before I got my shit together just to write out anything for this challenge.
Just for today, it truly is a challenge.
We often correlate sadness with tears, and that can mostly mean it’s the cue for tearjerkers to be put up for show.
No, this is nothing new. In fact my instance of feels is extremely common among the anime fandom because it is from Clannad After Story.
The details however, not so much.
I will have you know that the moment when Tomoya has finally reunited with his father, I was hit so hard to the point that I now live with positive mindset more often than ever, no matter how ludicrous future challenges may be.
Right, so let me set up the story before really getting to it. Naturally… spoilers:
Tomoya had a quarrel with his father, causing his right shoulder’s fracture to the point that he could no longer move his arm properly. He passionately loathed his father since then. He would forever thought that his father was a failure of a man who couldn’t properly raise him, leading Tomoya himself into becoming a full on delinquent in school.
His true nature revealed within the time frame of CLANNAD’s story. After having spent his time with the girls and voluntarily helped them through each and every one of their troubles, Tomoya came to slowly understand what it meant to be wanted by someone, let alone to even be together with someone (since he didn’t think much of Sunohara anyway). The inevitable romance brought him together with Nagisa, whom welcomed Tomoya into her family with open arms. Friendship was apparently the first step in life’s essential for Tomoya. It may have been late but he’d eventually experience another one of the life’s essentials — family.
It was from this moment on, Tomoya unknowingly followed his father’s footsteps in every way right from becoming the parent of a sole child to losing the love of his life. Having lost almost everything he’d ever wanted in life, Tomoya came to a first big realization that he’d aimed to become better than what his father was. To have abandoned Ushio before she could become a middle schooler, Tomoya realized that he was no better than his father, in fact he was much worse of a man than his father was. He’d then came to a big second realization that the fact he was able to live his life delinquently, free of any real harm was thanks to his father as well. He then started a second journey in life to rediscover the roots of his family, starting with his grandmother, who’d given him quite a story about his father.
The story brings me to this scene, where Tomoya reconciles with his father.
From all these years, Tomoya has finally come to understand that his father worked relentlessly to raise him into a decent human being. Though it may have looked like that he has failed at near the end of his goal, through Tomoya, I am given assurance that his father has indeed succeed in raising his son despite not looking so good after. It’s like tripping and falling onto the ground after having crossed the finish line in a running race/marathon—that kind of ugly.
And just like Tomoya, his feeling for his father does remind me of how much of a little brat I have been in the first 18 years of my life. I was exactly like him; ungrateful, delinquent and taking my mom’s efforts for granted. She’d left her teacher job in Thailand to raise my over here in New Zealand and she’d then only worked in laboring jobs. For 7 years straight she’d put her life on the line to have me become someone worth your attention. That’s if you are reading this right now, of course…
That was just only some of what she has been through to have me become a decent human being. Just thinking back to those times—to every single instances of my disobedience to my her, to the times I have disappointed her. It all makes me really sad now that I’m unable to go back and fix them. People say that the things I have done make me who I am now but truth is, there certainly are some things that I could definitely have done much better because who I am now is not the best of who I can be.
It’s sad, frustrating kind of sad, to be very precise.
Akin to Tomoya’s moment with his father, I’d also bid farewell to my mom when I was 18. I couldn’t bear to see her work to the bones with those laboring jobs. Rather than leaving her, along with my little brother—we sent our mom back to Thailand with a smile. We assured her that we would be more than fine on our own, we would do well on top of that and that we would definitely pay her a visit (just like Tomoya saying that he’d visit his dad).
And guess who’s in Thailand (to see her) now?
For both of us (Tomoya and myself), we cried out of frustration from our lifelong mistakes then we cried as we promised gratitude. They are both happy and sad tears, a rare occurrence only a few anime shows can bring out in any viewer.
Truly a challenge, please spare me now and maybe tell me about YOUR experience.
What are some of the most heartfelt scenes within anime for you?
It doesn’t even have to be in any way relatable, but you know this as much as I do; it is always the relatable ones that shake our emotional selves!
…onto the next one…tomorrow…
…see you then~